2012
09.09


Sybil Danning (born May 24, 1952) is an Austrian actress known for her many roles in European films, B movies, cult films, science fiction films, and action films.

In the vein of Elvira, Danning was the hostess of her own collection of 26 action-adventure films that bear the title Sybil Danning’s Adventure Video for the “USA Home Video” company. She appeared at the beginning, with campy one-liners, introduced the video, and returned at the end to wrap it up.
Wikipedia

Danning’s opening and closing monologues are hilarious. It’s VHS poetry.

Intro Transcript

Yo, I’m Sybil Danning
and no man no law no war can stop me
from being your host for this Adventure Video
This time I’m gonna drop you
right in the middle of a war guaranteed to give you a real rush
Imagine that your home is now nothing but wreckage of Hell
Oh there are survivors
but you know the living envy the dead
beacuase now they’re slaves to the nutcase who controls what’s left
They work til they drop in his crummy factories to build the new world
of fear and torture
And nobody can stop him right?
He never counted on you
You’ve got radioactive dreams
You stay alive among the living dead
You build your body into a one man commando squad
You’ve got one big secret that can save the world
and that puts a high price on your head
but your mind is still the best weapon
along with your bazooka
your grenades
your machine guns
and enough raw force to flatten any bozo
your hands are cannons
your feet are tank treads
your blue eyes can stare a red hot hole into any woman’s heart
you can make love and make war with the same firepower
and still, this future ayatollah thinks you’ll never do the job alone
his poor slaves can never join you to destroy his empire
maybe because he thinks you can’t live without his supplies
this time you’re fighting for your life
so load up
and hang on tight
you’re about to begin this exclusive mission on Adventure Video
RUSH
and when it’s done, if you survive
then I’ll be right here

Outro Transcript

Mission accomplished
that skunk Yor may be steamed at you
but now he’s just another number in the body count
in fact, you’ve done so well
you’ll get another mission sooner than you think
until then, stick around here
because between the two of us
with my .38 Specials and your extra long barrel
we’ll teach those wimps the real meaning of the words
“Lets Party!”

Here’s a partial list of the movies included in this series:
Assault With A Deadly Weapon
Blood & Guts
Brave Bunch
Dawn of Victory
Fist of Fear, Touch of Death
Human Factor
Kill the Ninja
Killing Machine
Man Called Rage
Mean Frank & Crazy Tony
Ninja Warriors
Pay Or Die
Rush
Saint Vol. 2
Seven
Space 1999: Alien Attack
Space 1999: Journey Through the Black Sun
Women In Cell Block 7

Sybil Dannings's Adventure Video: RUSH - vhs, bad movies, Gordon Mitchell, Italian

  • frankie09

    she was phenomenal back in the day and pioneered women to
    become leading action stars like Sigourney weaver and Cynthia
    rothrock and many others Sybil braced her fans with most dynamited
    video intros to a series of videos each got better as they went along
    and a true inspiration for female action stars of today including kate beckinsale
    and milla jovovich and danning will have a long lasting legacy for generations to come.
    Frankie smales
    smalestv uk