I know why the caged bird sings.

So this morning I woke up to the sound of fluttering and crashing. I opened my eyes and guess what, there’s a goddamn bird trapped in my room!

First response: “What the fuck is that??”

Second response: Promptly hide under a blanket

Third response: “Wait, how the hell…?”

My windows were closed and the door was locked, this bird must have found its way in through a crawl space or something. After standing up and dodging my panic-stricken guest for a minute, I finally got it to fly out the window. So anyway here’s my idea: Alarm clocks that release birds into your room. I dare you to sleep through that.