Shop Loot Crate

Bill Brasky Sketch from SNL

The top ten Bill Brasky facts according to Comedy Time Warp Editor Kari.

If you’ve never heard of Bill Brasky, all you need to know is he’s a son of a bitch but he’s the best damn salesman in the office. Also:

10. He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith & Wesson.

9. He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.

8. He once hosted the Grammy’s and gave every award to Corey Hart.

7. At his bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before he could be told there was a stripper in it.

6. He hunted down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalked and killed every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives except Fleegle.

5. The character Johnny Appleseed was based on him…except for the part about planting apple trees and not raping men.

4. He took a friend out to get a drink but they couldn’t find a bar. So he takes this friend into a vacant lot and says, “Here we are!”. They sat there for a year and a half until a bar was eventually constructed around them. On the day it opened, they ordered a shot, drank it, and burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, “Always leave things the way you found them!”

3. All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.

2. He named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did not want to be called that.

1. It was the sight of his naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

Bill Brasky was the subject of a series of sketches on the television sketch comedy program Saturday Night Live between 1996 and 1998. The sketches were written by cast member Will Ferrell and writer Adam McKay.