Shop Loot Crate

Steve Martin - Cruel Shoes [Book Cover, 1979]

Cruel Shoes is a collection of absurdist essays and short stories written by Steve Martin. It was his first published book, released in 1977 as a handmade limited edition, and published as a hardcover in 1979.

The book is currently out of print, but you can find it used on Amazon.


— Dogs in My Nose —

When I woke up that morning, it didn’t take me long to realize there were dogs in my nose. I could hear their muffled barks; I could feel their playful vibrations.

It’s not dangerous to have dogs in your nose, in fact, it’s quite all right to leave them in there for an hour or so. But in this case, because they got in there without permission, I decided to expel them immediately, coaxing them out with a piece of hamburger.

The dogs popped out and landed on the floor. They shook their little floppy ears and bounded off, and I was amused at the prospect of some other weary traveler awakening to find he had dogs in his nose.